Saturday, October 9, 2010

Adding a Background Image to Your Blogger Blog: Just Forget It

Ok, so I have this amazing image I wanted to add as my background to this blog. It depicts the Greek god Zeus riding a pegasus bareback while clutching a thunderbolt. He's rearing back to throw the bolt at  an army of men down on earth. This image, to me, oozes total dominance. Forget whether or not I have permission to use it: I'm sure the National Gallery in London has other things to worry about. I want this image!

Except, of course, it isn't happening. After spending nearly an hour trying to get the brainless image to upload, I've given up. Just look at the coding necessary to get this little hum-dinger uploaded:

body {
background:#fff url("direct URL of the image");
background-position: down-left;
background-attachment: fixed;
background-repeat: no-repeat;
margin: 0;

Not to mention the fact that you've got to get the bleeding thing uploaded into Picasa first, and the brother-humping URL it gives me doesn't do jack when I paste it into the above code.

What am I, a character from the critically-panned, cult classic 80's TV show "The Whiz Kids"? Coding is for men who've never touched the supple flesh of a woman. Not for people who have lives, like me. In third grade, when we were given an assignment to write a simple code that made a blocky-looking cow walk across the screen and eat a pile of pixelated hay, my cow ended up blasting off into the sky. Really, I've always despised code. It's never made an ounce of sense to me.

Must it be this difficult to illegally upload a copyrighted picture of Zeus destroying mankind?

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